Giddy Up Giddy Up 409

I like to consider myself a brave person most of the time. Living in the country you never know what you are going to come across. This is why we have a loaded shotgun next to the bed. We sound like rednecks, but I promise we aren't.

I recently had a run-in with a 4 foot long water moc. in the backyard while going to feed the dogs. What did I do? I pretended to throw things at it so it would slither away, but he wasn't afraid of me. He just sat there and played dead. I gave up and went inside and when I came to check an hour later he was no where to be found. So, the rest of the night I was terrified he was going to crawl up the toilets, so I did what any brave girl would do and close the lids with books. It's o.k. to laugh at me.

The next morning I get ready to leave for work and there is an 8 inch long lizard hanging on to the inside part of our screen door. I slammed the door, re-opened it and was armed with one of our horse's training sticks. I tried knocking the lizard off and he almost ran inside. I slammed the door again and called it a loss with the reptile and left for work out the back door.

A few days later I encounter the same problem with the lizard. This time, I didn't want to feel defeated and only safe exiting and entering through the back door, so I grabbed my trusty bottle of 409 and squirted the guy until he was completely covered. He didn't move. I grabbed the horse training stick again and touched him ever so lightly and he fell onto the ground leaving an imprint of his 409 soaked body on the deck. I left for work thinking I had won this battle, but when I came home he was no where to be found. I found him a day later laying in the dirt, but haven't seen him on the porch since.

I'm considering this a victory against that little guy and I have now reclaimed my front porch and door!

If you were wondering where Travis was when these shenanigans were taking place: Chicago. I sent him a picture asking for help and I could hear him laughing from Illinois.

I'll mess with the horses, dogs, spiders, and roaches, but I do NOT do any kind of reptiles. Gross.

To any future reptile thinking of messing with me: Watch Out--I'm prepared with 409...